faith
Tuesday, October 5, 2010 at 5:07 AM
I cried so many times, God knows.
and yet, it is another painful day where God hasn't provided the answer to this matter.
and it seems like I just realised it today. yeah, I have lost it. I have lost a friend. I have completely entirely lost the bestest friend I have ever had.
Wanna know the story, guys? Simple. I did it. I did too much stupid stuff and everything breaks apart. and I just lost it.
Funny thing about it though.. I can't barely stop crying. Been over 5 hours now, and I just can't stop.
I have no one. I barely had one, and I lost it. I myself, lost it.
It has been almost 3 weeks, Lord. The most painful 3 weeks ever. I could hardly survive, alone. Nobody knows how it feels like, but me. It just sucks, with no one you could hang around with anymore.
This is why I hate my own country. I have no one, I might clearly have some, but it seems hard to reach them. I just don't belong here.
So perhaps, this is it. This is my very decision. I'm going out to USA. yes, I don't have anyone there I know, but let's just start everything back to zero.
I never know this could be happening, but yeah this is it. Got my mom's approval, just waiting for the very right moment to ask dad about this.
So, smile din :) smile you, dumbfool. smile you, smirky idiot. you may have lose a friend, but it's okay alright?
It's okay.. Stop crying.. *pat pat pat*
Labels: downturn, fall, i miss you more than anything in the world
