swell.
Sunday, December 12, 2010 at 9:46 PM
a question, what would you do if you are in this situation?
"I had a friend. She’s a year older than me. Before she graduated she told me that “we should be like this even though i’m gonna go to high school.” we were really close then, I was the first one to know about her secret and she was the first one to know about mine. Imagine that? and well we’d always text/call everyday. When she had problems she’d go to me, when I’m troubled I just run to her and she just makes me smile, like all my problems just faded. we would gossip too about mostly EVERYTHING even the TOP SECRET stuff. Those were the good times. but we didn’t get to keep our promise. Our friendship isn’t even the same as before anymore. and of course I know the reason why. But I just find it really sad. Now when I have problems, I just keep it all to myself knowing that she’s too busy with her studies, her new friends, her new school.. her new life. I just feel so bad because I think I’m the only one missing what we had before. She was not a best friend, but she was more than that. She was more of like my sister, which hurt 20 times worse."
the question is, does she actually still want to be my friend?
source: one tumblr page i just passed by and read
dear you,
my heart has been swollen for the past 2 weeks. not only the problem lies in us, but my relationship with my parents is now like a crap, especially with mum. my life is really in a mess.
i don't want to go to Japan. i want to use that travel money for dad, for whenever time he needs in the old future days, he can spend. today, i got really pissed in them being so slow when i could just ask them to buy the foods and me staying home watching my shop. mum keeps blaming me for having a bad bad mood shown today. i was being told that i would get a karma someday. and it hurts my heart so bad it bleeds. i don't know what to do. dad has spent too much money already, why can't she understand that? for my study, for car and for the traveling trip..
2 weeks i have not been able to talk to you. not being able to because i have my private reason i just cannot tell. i miss you, i do. i wish i could cry on your shoulder and explain everything about my life. i know you are damn well happy, i just cannot ruin that of yours.
when will we stop this? when will we finally talk to each other? i know we both want to make up already. but we just can’t, i don’t know why. we can’t even look at each other anymore. i know you’re trying. well i did. JUST SO YOU KNOW, i did try. but you just replied with a cold shrug. from then on, i lost hope. but everyday i’ve been longing to talk to you. even just a simple “hello” but I still can’t do it.
i hope we won’t stay like this forever. i don’t wanna lose another friend. i don’t wanna lose you. or did i lose you already?
you just don’t know it but it really does hurt. every day when we’re avoiding each other, it leaves a deep mark to my chest. remember when you told me that i got you? that you always got my back? yeah, i’ve been through this crap before. and i don’t wanna go through it anymore.. especially with you. i don’t wanna lose anyone right now, especially i don’t wanna lose you.
i hope you realise, the silence is killing me so bad. it really is.
and for your information, this is how my face looks like for the past 13 days.
Labels: miss.
